Still chasing mist: Noelie suffers the consequences

Per yesterday's blog posting "we ain't no superman just gorillas in the mist", today was a true example of our primal instincts kicking in at the slightest sign of mist. Regretfully Noelie seems to be the victim of our fears more often than required. Whether it was the fevers of last month or today's red spotting across the body, our instincts get triggered by our fears and so she ends up probably more than needed at the emergency room or the doctors' office.

My favorite moment of the day is in the morning when walking into their room they greet us with so much joy and shout "mama!! papa!!" as if they missed us all night long for a 1001 nights. The smiles on their faces just give you that jolt to start a day with a positive attitude, a feeling that nothing else matters. When changing Noelie this morning we noticed that she had red spots across her entire body from face to feet. Knowing that she had all her immunizations before joining us in the cocoon, rational thinking would have implied that it could not have been anything major like chicken pox or measles. However our concern for Noelie, aka the super Noelie who never complains or gets hurt (or at least acts like it), and the implications for Miabelle pushed our discomfort to infinity and beyond. The spots were and still are everywhere. Our minds were running so fast: what is it, what can it be given her immunizations, measles are doing the rounds in the USA-is it measles, could it be dangerous for Noelie, what about Miabelle, was Miabelle potentially exposed, what do we do, etc... Thousands of questions were running through our minds within minutes of spotting the hundreds of red spots. The rule when being a BMT parent seems to be: when in doubt go to the ER as any wrong judgment can cost dearly. Therefore our immediate reaction was to take Noelie to the ER of CCH.

V stayed home with Miabelle while worrying her head off and I rushed Noelie in. Although Super Noelie loves to come to the rescue of others, she hates to be rescued and thus as soon as she sees a hospital, and only when she sees a hospital, her toddler alarms go off like a submarine diving. She hates doctors and hospitals. It is Super Neolie's Kryptonite. The only time we see her lose it is when going to the hospital, which recently has been more than usual and required (apparently). Like always CCH ER is heavenly fast in processing patients. We were in and out within 1 hour, and the current verdict is: Eterno virus or allergies or heat or bug bite.

Heat is unlikely as we keep the house at a constant temperature day and night. Secondly, allergies are possible considering Cincy seems to be a capital for allergies. Los abuelos informed us that last year Noelie had something similar. So we were trying to think as to what we did different yesterday than the day before, trying to spot what could trigger an allergy. Nothing really... Oh!! buy half of the Disney store. But can a toddler be allergic to Mickey? Unlikely! Therefore a virus remains also a possibility. According to the hospital, it could be the Eterno virus, which is doing rounds in Ohio. It is a minor virus that can manifest itself with children and cause red dots to appear; very rarely does it cause fever. However, we wipe the girls down constantly, clean their hands every few minutes, we watch them like hawks, so a virus...really? Finally, a bug bite is also an option. When bathing Noelie this evening we noticed a big red spot on her leg, much bigger than the other spots. We assume that it is a bite but cannot confirm. All in all, the doctors do not fear that it is harmful for Noelie or Miabelle. Given Miabelle's current immune system, the Eterno virus would be of no harm to her. If she were just post BMT, it would have been. We have to watch both girls for fevers, diarrhea and worsening of the spots. If Miabelle shows any signs of it then it will be “Bonjour Dr. F.” straight to the hospital.

They both went to bed with no signs of anything, so we are hopeful that tomorrow our nest can rest with further toddler activity.

We may have overreacted, just like last time when Noelie didn't feel well, or the time before when she had fevers, or the time before when she was teething. Our primal instincts are hard to control and the fear that Noelie may have something major or she may be a danger to Miabelle controls our decision making process in rushing her to the ER. This is a good example of gorillas in the mist. An excellent example of how our mental behavior is controlling our daily lives making our healthy Super Noelie, and also Miabelle, the victims of minds set in overdrive. We will eventually control this as it only requires time, awareness and the desire to stop inflicting our children with unnecessary doctor visits. We have to start slowing down if not soon we will end up with the mentally ill (which according to some of my friends I should have been long time ago). We need to slowdown in seeing fear in everything, but the question remains: what if one day we judge wrong.

On a more positive note tomorrow is Day 366 Post Transplant, Miabelle will have survived 1 year post BMT, a major milestone for any BMT patient.  Wow!!  So many days and nights we questioned whether she would ever make it this far and now here we are.  We will celebrate her Re-Birthday with doing something special for her and Noelie.  We will do this yearly as warriors should always be reminded how unique they are but more importantly how strong they are.  We cannot wait till the clock strikes 12 because in our minds some amazing fireworks will go off!!!

We remain for some time, yours sincerely

The Gorillas in the Mist